Saturday, July 16, 2011

Clean ALL the things. Twice.

Very few people actually like their jobs. Most people who say they do actually mean "I find this job preferable to other that are available to me."

When people ask me what I do, I reply that I wash dishes. Because I do. But what I should actually say is "People pile shit on me in a chaotic mess while I flail wildly and splash myself with grease-filled water."

Ok... maybe it's not quite that bad. On slow days it can be alright, but on the bad days, it's... bad. On bad days I want to burn and smash and generally act like a rampaging dragon.

It doesn't always start that way. I may clear my head on the bike ride over to work, preparing myself to face the massive, unorganized pile of dishes, silverware, and pans that usually (Though not always) await. I come in, calmly put on my chef's jacket and hat. A soothing song is running through the jukebox in my head.

Then for three or fours hours, no matter how busy it is, I am fine. Until something happens and I just... break. Maybe everyone decided to bring me their closing stuff all at the same time. Maybe there's three guys sitting around the oven, while the timer goes BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER indicating biscuits are done... and none of those three guys can be assed to even turn the timer off. So I have to wash and dry my hands and butter and deliver the biscuits. Rage.

After I break I begin to rage. Except I can't direct that rage at people, so I direct it at inanimate objects. High levels of stress tend to make me kind of punch-drunk, so as I am cursing at the dish machine for cleaning things about as well as a sack of bull testacles, I am laughing my ass off.

That lasts for about two hours. Then I begin to just build a quiet rage. I may slam things. I may have a sudden outburst which I cut short almost as soon as it begins. But I still never direct my rage at a person, just objects. Which makes me seem fucking insane but at least not dangerously so.
Then I go home, clear my head and proceed to drink beer and browse the internet till morning, when I fall asleep.

Thats how my day was! How was yours?

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